The Brutal Bikini Wax

wax on

Yes, I’m seriously blogging about my bikini wax experience. If we know each other in real life, this may make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry ’bout it.

There’s a first time for everything, right? No, this is not my first bikini wax, although I have my suspicions that it was the first for somebody else.

wax on

(Source)

As soon as the 20-something year old Korean girl handed me a small package of something to “change into”, I knew this was a terrible idea.

I had been looking for a waxing place for ages and this was the only one I could find – on the third level of the Target-like-supermarket that I frequented when the house-cleaning supplies ran low (also known as Homeplus – or “Homeplus-uh” to the Koreans). The middle-aged Korean seemed fairly confident when I approached the front desk and asked if they could do a bikini wax. However, that was the extent of her confidence.

After being guided into a room, I unwrapped this mysterious small plastic package to unfold what looked like a baby-pink elasticized hairnet that the lunch-ladies at my elementary school wore – except there were 2 leg holes, so I could obviously do the math. The middle-aged Korean came in, followed closely by the younger girl. They had me lie down (lay down? I honestly never knew the difference) on a small, floral-printed table-bed wrapped in thick, heavy-duty plastic in true Asian style.

After poking, prodding, and discussing my lady parts for nearly 5 minutes, they finally got down to business. The older lady unwrapped other random tools, shifted around various products and grabbed the wax tentatively, as if it were her first time doing this. And I wish I could continue with this tale and say that it was the best wax I’ve ever gotten – but no, tis not the case.

The usual 15-minute process was at least triple that amount of time and there were multiple times I actually yelped in pain. If you’ve never gotten a wax before, they usually use the “quick-band-aid approach” where they rip off the wax as fast as possible to get the pain over with. Her technique was more of a “carefully-opening-a-velcro-bag-in-the-middle-of-class-so-it’s-as-quiet-[and-painful]-as-possible” technique – but then deciding to just “go for it” halfway through. And no, the latter is not preferable to anybody whose nerves aren’t completely numb.

They took multiple breaks in between wax-applications to hover over me and chat away in Korean as if they were doing a science experiment – making observations, pointing things out, asking each other questions and sifting through their tools. Giving me “reassuring” glances every so often – which only made me feel less confident in their skills. I wasn’t sure if the younger girl was there to learn or if she was just assisting. Neither of them – nor the third person to come in – seemed to have any experience doing this. I was half-glad that I couldn’t understand anything they were saying (“So what does this tool do?” “How long should we keep the wax on?” “I would never do this, it looks way too painful.”)

45 minutes of tortuous pain later, they were finally finished. Luckily, no real damage was done (thank God). Needless to say, it was definitely an interesting first (& probably the last at Homeplus-uh) for all of us.

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  1. Poor you – that sounds horrific. 2 words: Green Turtle (in Itaewon) :)

    1. Thanks Shelley! I’ll have to check it out next time I’m in Seoul :)

  2. Ceri says: Reply

    Ouch! The question is, when you need the next one, are you going to be desperate enough to return? They say we forget about pain over time. :-/

  3. Haha, this reminds me of a similar experience I had before going on a cruise to Mexico. I went to a Vietnamese family owned place. It was terrible….lots of blood :(

    1. Holy crap that sounds awful! I was a bit more fortunate than you, as no blood was shed haha. Better luck next time 😉

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