If you know me well, then you might (probably) know what my biggest fear is: Moths.
Yes. Creepy, furry, ugly, flying MOTHS.
It probably started when I was in middle school and we had to catch bugs for a science project. I caught crickets, spiders, beetles, ladybugs and butterflies with relative ease. My battle with the moth, however, was when my fear was really solidified. I chased that evil, flying, spawn-of-Satan for 2 hours around my room one night, begged my mother to kill it for me (who just laughed and said “it’s just a moth”), decided I just wouldn’t capture a moth for my project, realized that son-of-a-bitch was still lurking somewhere in my room, and then may or may not have cried in frustration (and fear) before finally smashing it against my wall (victory, at last!!) Afterwards, it left a moth-shaped coat of sticky fur on my wall (that I was never able to completely clean off) and I had to stick a needle through it’s thick, hairy body for my insect display. Barf.
So I never thought there could be anything worse than moths. UNTIL I came to Korea and learned about this horrible thing called a HUMMINGBIRD-HAWK-MOTH are you FREAKING kidding me?!!! THIS:
No, I haven’t encountered one, thank you baby Jesus, and if I did, I probably wouldn’t be here to write about it since I would most likely die in fear (or maybe from that thing EATING MY FACE).
Apparently they’re common over here and I will now be spending the next 4 months in this country indoors away from these repulsive bird-moths. I just heard about them today on a Facebook thread, so naturally, I spent all of my free time at work Googling them. How big are they? Where are they from? WHAT DO THEY WANT??!
I realize that this may be an irrational fear. But how is this any different than fearing spiders? Or cockroaches? Or sharks? Granted, the latter can actually kill you or at least bite a limb off, but why is fearing moths any different than fearing other insects? There are tons of people who are scared of spiders and are always like “thank God spiders can’t fly” – well moths CAN fly! In erratic and unpredictable flight patterns! One second they’re 10 feet away, the next, they’re BEHIND YOUR EAR flittering away like it’s nobody’s business.
Upon reading about these little monsters, I have come across articles where people describe them as “beautiful” or even “adorable” and talking about how “lucky” you would be to see one. What is wrong with you people?!! These creatures can eat through CLOTHES and Oriental RUGS. When is the last time you’ve tried and succeeded at eating through wool and fur?!
Fortunately, I have also come across several blogs of others who are equally (if not more) terrified of moths. Thank you the Everywhereist, for describing my fear down to a T.
And thank you Korea, it’s been an amazing 8 months but I will now be hiding in my tiny apartment, hoping and praying that these Hummingbird Hawk Moths will never find me.
Evidence That Moths are the Spawns of Satan:
- They’re night-dwellers. All bad and horrible things happen at night.
- Light kills them (like how light kills vampires). It’s not a coincidence.
- Some moths (well at least the species, Calyptra thalictri and Hemiceratoides hieroglyphica) drink BLOOD and the TEARS FROM BIRDS. Enough said.
The Everwhereist‘s accurate depiction of what people THINK a moth looks like….
versus what it REALLY looks like: