Things I WISH I could teach my kids. Not that I haven’t tried (ooooh, how I’ve tried), but some things just can’t be taught. Because you know, cultural differences, language barriers, and just sheer unwillingness to deviate from the norm in Korea.
1. One word: “PLEASE”. To be fair, the Korean version of “please” is “juseyo”, which just means “give to me”. I heard there is a more direct translation, but it’s rarely used. So instead of “Teacher, can I have a piece of candy please?” it’s more along the lines of “Teacher give me candy!!!!!!!”
2. Two more words: “THANK YOU”. Ummm I just gave you candy, I’d appreciate some gratitude.
3. Spitting (and I’m talking hocking up a giant…how can I say this more eloquently?…uhhh “dislodging substantial amounts of phlegm”) is disgusting and spreads germs. Spitting INDOORS is just – I can’t even.
4. Not washing your hands after the bathroom ALSO spreads germs. Gross gross gross.
5. If you’re “hot” inside the classroom when it’s 4 degrees outside, DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT open the windows to let in the arctic winds of Korea. Take off one of your 2 down coats or 3 sweaters. That should help.
6. Feeding me [aka shoving into my mouth] cookies and [unwrapped] candy while passing me in the halls shouldn’t be the norm. I appreciate the gesture but just – just no. (Especially because of #4.)
7. Mexico is a real country and Mexicans are real people. Please stop bursting out in hysterical laughter every time this country is mentioned.
8. Being sleepy/tired because you stayed up until 4am playing League of Legends is NOT the same thing as being “sick”, so no, you may not sleep during my class.
9. How to form a proper line. Crowding around me yelling “TEACHER GIVE ME STAMP!!!” while shoving papers in my face is not efficient. I realize this is a bigger problem, as proven by banks and even cinemas having the DMV-like-system of pulling tickets at the entrance and waiting for your number to show up on the overhead screen because of certain people’s inability to patiently stand behind another person who got there first. But I think that if we can teach ’em young, there’s hope.
10. Bless me (or anybody else) after they sneeze. I feel very neglected and slightly belittled when I’m not blessed. Okay, so this last one is probably more of a personal problem but still.
Anyway, I still love you, you crazy crazy kids
**This is in no way representative of Korea as a whole. More of just a semi-bored teacher venting after a rough day teaching crazy middle schoolers
Aaaand for your viewing pleasure:
uhhh..yeah…these are real posters in Japan.